"Once upon a midnight dreary....come rest your weak and weary....at the Nekro Noir Cafe."
- Mattie Morgana

All wandering souls can find us on - Dynamis|Marilith - in the Mist. [Ward 26, Plot 1]

Wednesdays: 7:00 - 9:00 PM EST

Recently, we discovered that the Nekro Noir Cafe has been nominated for the 2026 DEGEN Magazine "Cafe of the Year" Award!We were quite shocked to learn about your nomination. Our venue has had its ups and downs, but knowing that there are people out there who believe that this venue deserves an award of such great value, we are truly honored. If you want to learn more about the DEGEN: Eorzea Adult Magazine Award, you can click the link below to visit their website!We are incredibly grateful for this nomination.

Visit: DEGEN - Eorzea Adult Magazine

Here, at the Nekro Noir Cafe, we are a SFW Casual RP Venue. Our cafe is designed to give players - new, old, and returning - a chance to try out an RP venue just to see if they enjoy the roleplay aspect of FFXIV. We humbly ask our guests to please keep any suggestive/indecent scenarios in whispers.We are not opposed to fun, flirty banter or a quick kiss on the cheek! Any guest will receive a polite verbal warning if they start a NSFW scenario. In the event they continue after our warning, we will remove them from the premises.If roleplaying is not your style or you wish to take a break, our lobby area is AFK friendly.

We also welcome any free trial adventurers who wish to try rp venues. We have free trial friendly menu items that helps include them. We hope you can stop by and stay awhile! We are also a board game cafe! The upstairs area is for those who wish to "play" any board games/cards games we offer. If you wish to eat at the cafe, please move downstairs to the cafe.

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Take a look at the cafe newsletter and upcoming cafe events.

~ CAFE NEWSLETTER ~

~ CAFE & AFFILIATE EVENTS ~

MARCH 25th: MTG Jumpstart Event

From 7 to 9 PM EST, we will be hosting our first MTG event! To keep things simplified, all players will be using Jumpstart decks!For this event, we will be using Archidekt and Tabletop Simulator. If you have NOT used any of these engines, we will be hosting a small tutorial event on March 17th at 7 PM EST.Our Main Event will have limited seating. You can sign up at the front desk of our cafe or you contact Yidua Zel! To stay updated on this event, join our Discord!

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Please meet the wonderful staff of the Nekro Noir Cafe.

If you wish to visit the Hall of Fame, the Hydrangea will take you there.

Jeffrey the Demon Wall
> Cafe Mascot <

Jeffrey has been part of the Nekro Noir Cafe for as long as Yidua can remember. With each renovation, Jeffrey is first priority. Wherever Jeffrey decides he fits, that is where he sits. At the moment, he resides over the Nekro Noir stage making sure each guest is enjoying their time at the cafe.

Azalea Greystone
> Waitress & Bard <

Hailing from Maduin, Azalea travels to Marilith to help out in the Nekro Noir Cafe. You can find them serving guests most of the time. However, if you ever catch Azalea performing on stage, consider yourself blessed by the Twelve.

Popo Crow
> Shouter <

You've probably seen Popo around the city states shouting! A kind and beautiful soul who traveled from another star and settled down in Marilith to work at the cafe! When not shouting, you can usually find her at the bar having a drink. If she's not at the bar and she's not shouting, she's most likely with her partner enjoying her day off!

Frenzy Mc
> Head Chef <

Frenzy is the twin brother of Rumble Mc. If you see a Lalafell running around the kitchen (maybe setting something on fire), that's him! When he's not busy plating up food, you can find him at the window looking out to the guests. Don't be afraid to approach him! Do NOT insult his brother.

Rumble Mc
> Bartender & Sous Chef <

Rumble is the twin brother of Frenzy Mc. If you see a Lalafell wandering in and out of the kitchen with purple hair, that's him! On occasion, you find him upstairs handling the drinks! I encourage you to chat him up. He has some very interesting things to say! Do NOT insult his brother.

Blossom Greencaller
> Waitress <

If you ever find yourself buying honey muffins on the marketboard, that would be Blossom's doing! She has a muffin problem. The last time we checked, she was at 2,769 honey muffins. In her spare time, she's off making deals with namazus. Don't ask - the namazus are always watching.Post Addendum: She has over 10,000 honey muffins at this point in time. (November 4, 2025)

Deathstar Shadowrath
> Bartender <

A bored adventurer whose been everywhere and done everything so decided to get a job as a bartender! Meet Deathstar. Hailing from Kraken, he stumbled upon an advertisement for the Nekro Noir Cafe and decided that working at a cafe is better than doing nothing!

Calista Veil
> Shouter <

The newest addition of the Nekro Noir Cafe Staff! Let's see what she has to say:"Hello! I'm Calista, a gentle bunny who love rests among tall sunflowers, maybe because there is something peaceful about the way it moves...Nice to meet you, I'm happy to be here! ♥"

Neo Symphonia
> Shouter/Front Desk <

Quite the enthusiastic mischief maker of a dragonkin who appears sweeter than she lets on. Originating from sea sunken legends long lost to the history books. She's the kind to talk like she’s seen far more of the world than she should have. Ask about her past and she'll make it feel like the question never happened. All with a cheeky grin and usually dragging you into whatever musings she's got brewing in her head. Is she an ancient beast of the tides? Maybe, but she certainly isn’t telling.At some point she took a step out of her comfort zone and began living among the vast races of Eorzea. Along the way finding herself in places where the lights shined brightest and the nights never ended until the last song called. Now she lives as a creature reborn into the beating waves of nightlife. An entertainer and caretaker in every sense of the words. Bringing music, laughter, and good vibes wherever she goes. Her newly found ambitions being driven by a simple goal:

Make unforgettable nights whereas many people smile as possible ~☆

Yidua Zel
> Cafe Owner <

BUSINESS CARD

Carrd Designer, House Decorator, & Cafe Owner.If you see her, feel free to start up a conversation with her!

Through the Hall of Fame, I express my gratitude to those who have outgrown and moved on from the Nekro Noir Cafe. I wish nothing but the best for them.

RETURN

Mattie Morgana
~ Server & Shouter ~

M'isha Tia
~ Server & Bard ~

Xandria Forester
~ Server & Hostess~

Marie Rillemont
~ Server ~

Kajira Ofgor
~ Bartender ~

Chiaki Tachibana
~ Bartender & Shouter ~

Osiris Peregrine
~ Jack of all Trades ~

Ophilia Olarious
~ Bartender ~

Layfon Cat
~ Bard ~

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All guests receive a complimentary snack and beverage upon arrival.

~ NIGHTLY SPECIAL ~

Noir Hibiscus Tea
> 7000 Gil <

Roasted with walnuts and fresh coffee beans, these dried hibiscus leaves make up our new tea blend. The hibiscus tea was carefully chosen to match the aesthetic of our cafe, and we hope you agree with us! This floral tea can be served hot or cold depending on the weather.

~ MAIN COURSES ~

Popoto au Jeffrey
> 5000 Gil <

A russet potato dish using upland wheat flour, steppe milk, cyclops onion, cream cheese, and a dash of night pepper. This dish is in honor of the Nekro Noir Cafe mascot: Jeffrey the Demon Wall.

These catnip-infused fluffy pancakes were made specifically for Layfon Cat - a longtime friend and amazing bard! However, we decided that we wanted our guests to also try these pancakes as well! Made with Dalamud popotoes, sunset wheat flour, nutmeg, table salt, and apkallu eggs - this dish is perfect for those looking for a light but also hearty meal! Mirror apple butter goes well with these pancakes!

~ BEVERAGES ~

Omen Tea
> 4000 Gil <

A persimmon and Jhammel ginger tea that uses cinnamon for aroma and beet sugar for a hint of sweetness. Perfect for guests not looking for alcohol or for guests that plot the demise of their enemies. We are NOT responsible for murder.

Towhee Mountain Tea
> 4000 Gil <

An herbal tea made from the Far Eastern mountains. The Towhee bird is known for its famous bird call that sounds like its saying, "Drink your tea!" Is it a threat or is it a suggestion? It all depends on whether or not you pissed the bird off.

Triple Dirge Coffee
> 4000 Gil <

A dark roast coffee with heavy sweet cream, maple sugar and shaved cinnamon - this beverage carries a bite. If you plan to drink this, we suggest carrying three coins in your pocket: One for luck and two for safe passage while crossing the River Styx.

Arabesque Coffee
> 4000 Gil <

Another dark roast coffee with hints of cinnamon and garden beet sugar. To balance the bitter notes of this coffee, a dollop of sour cream is added on top. While delicious, try not stare into the coffee for too long. One might start to see patterns that are not there. That, or you hallucinated the fact that you're holding a cup of coffee.

~ ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES ~

A Round for the House
> 100,000 Gil <

Feeling generous tonight? Buy a round for the house and we'll make sure every guest knows you were the one who bought them a drink!

Witching Hour
> 4000 Gil <

Wine made of fermented lingonberries, garden beet sugar and birch syrup give the wine its trademarked sweetness. Lemonette and Galago mint is used as a contrast. Best served in a wine glass while communing with the spirits at 3 AM - the witching hour.

Commander Starscream
> 7000 Gil <

This cocktail was made in the honor of a strange duskwight Elezen claiming to be from a distant planet called Cybertron. He also claims that he is king of Cybertron and leader of a powerful army called the.....Decepticons? Whatever the case, this stranger has left a lasting impression on the cafe. This cocktail is made with pixieberries, garden beet sugar, peppermint, underground spring water, and Coerthan tea leaves.

The liqueur we add to the drink was graciously given to us by this stranger, just in case he ever has a rough week. (We checked the liqueur for poison. It's safe.....it just glows in a bright pink color.

~ DESSERTS~

A sweet tart of blood currants boiled in gelatin, natron, and maple sugar. The tart is baked in a pie dough that's been coated with smooth butter. Always made fresh by our talented chef: Frenzy Mc.

Cheesy Fever Frenzy
> 6000 Gil <

This dessert made its first appearance as a Nightly Special. It did so well on its first day that we decided to place it on our permanent menu! A light and fragrant dessert made with cream cheese, night milk, and dodo eggs. Maple syrup gives this dish a subtle sweetness with sun lemon as a contrast!

RETURN

"Bah Weep Graaaagnah Wheep Ni Ni Bong!" We, the Autobots, come in peace. As a token of our goodwill, we have prepared a menu that should suit your tastes. We hope to one day change the minds of the Decepticons so that we can live in peace.

Menu Created by: Prowl
Cybertronian to Eorzean Translations by: Yidua Zel

- MAIN COURSES -

Optimus PRIME Burger
> 10,000 Gil <

When first coming to this planet, we heard many things about organic food. One of those things was a burger. Optimus - fascinated by the concept - created a burger for you to enjoy. This dish is made with butterbeef, dark rye flour for bread, alien onion, and iceberg lettuce. Optimus also used a potent spice to give this burger some kick. Whatever that means.

Crabjack Bomb
> 10,000 Gil <

We were hesitant to allow Wheeljack to submit a dish to the menu. However, we were all impressed when he showed us this seafood dish. Donning a dark red hue, this crab was cooked in a sauce made from blood tomatoes, frantoio oil, and jhammel ginger. Bumblebee claims that this dish is actually a bomb but so far - there is no sufficient proof of said claims.

Onion Drift
> 10,000 Gil <

Drift, a former Decepticon, wanted to show just how much he has changed as a mech. Learning from cooking shows and taking cooking lessons from Yidua Zel, he has submitted a baked onion soup. Using chicken stock, cyclops onions, volcanic rock salt, and Knight's bread - he slow cooked the broth for three days before adding the rest of the ingredients. After, he placed the pot into the oven with cream cheese added on top. It was baked until golden brown. He is eager to know your opinion of his dish.

- BEVERAGES -

Sunstreaker Swirl
> 10,000 Gil <

Sunstreaker is never allowed in the kitchen to cook again. Instead, he turned his attention to making beverages for organics. Blending branchbearer fruit, wild Ja Tiika bananas, palm sugar, and ovibos milk - he has created a sweet smoothie. Perfect for hot weather. Alcohol can be added to the drink if you want something stronger.

The Hot Rod
> 10,000 Gil <

Hot Rod was either jealous or inspired by Sunstreaker. Instead of a cold, refreshing smoothie - he skipped straight to the liquor. True to his name, he created a hot cider cocktail using golden apples, cinnamon, vanilla beans, pearl ginger, and cloves. However, he made his cocktail too strong. It can only be served in shot glasses. It is recommended to only have four shots.

Wheelie's Jumbo Jug
> 10,000 Gil <

This summary was written by Wheelie."Full of sweetness, lemons, loquats and more; This drink is a party galore! A perfect drink that fits in a jug, just don't spill it on the rug!"

- DESSERTS -

Smooth Jazz Brulee
> 10,000 Gil <

Jazz finds desserts to be more his style in terms of cooking. Using okeanis eggs, yak milk, and vanilla beans - he created an egg custard. He then poured birch syrup on top which he then heated up using one of Wheeljack's blowtorches. The syrup turned into a crispy shell that you can easily break with a spoon. This dessert is both crunchy and soft.

Wreck-gar Tart
> 10,000 Gil <

Our Junkion friend, Wreck-gar, had stopped by to visit us while we were making a menu for this night. Having watched multiple shows on organics and even owning a cook book - he had us in awe after preparing a rather tall dessert. Using highland flour to make a tart base, he whipped up sweet cream, maple sugar, and dark chestnuts into a light fluffy cake. Best served cold.

Grimlock's Waffles
> 10,000 Gil <

In the words of Grimlock:"Me Grimlock like waffles! Waffles are best food! Me Grimlock will NOT share waffles!"Grimlock, surprisingly, was able to make an edible batter that we helped him make into waffles. Strong flour, garden beet sugar, lemonette, lorikeet eggs, fermented butter, and cottonseed oil was used in the batter. No matter how many times Ratchet and I tried to explain to Grimlock that we could use his waffles for the menu, he would simply state that no one else can have his waffles. We didn't tell him that we wrote down the ingredients of his recipe so we could use it later. Don't tell him. Seriously, don't.

RETURN

Greetings. You found our highly classified Decepticon Menu. To order from this menu, send a tell to your server. Any public orders will be met with confusion and denial.

Menu Created by: Soundwave
Cybertronian to Eorzean Translations by: Yidua Zel

- MAIN COURSES -

Scrapheap Stew
> 10,000 Gil <

Death to any Junkion that works alongside the Autobots. Let this stew be a warning - if we catch you working with Scrapheap, you will be boiled alive in molten lava. A method quite similar to the cooking method for this stew. Chunks of dzo tenderloin are boiled in a thick underground spring water broth along with upland wheat flour, russet popoto, night pepper, and Gyr Abanian carrots.

Glory be Megatron
> 10,000 Gil <

Food was scarce for bots who worked in the mines on Cybertron. A miner, D-16, created a dish made of energon crumbs which we recreated into a dish for organics. Eblan lentils, perilla oil, Gridanian chestnut, and night pepper make up this dish. Peppermint is used as a contrast and tastes similar to energon. This dish is named after said miner - he now calls himself Megatron.

Matrix Minis
> 10,000 Gil <

To rule Cybertron, bots chosen by Primus were given the Matrix of Leadership. Recently, I have found a dish in the Far East that is spherical in shape - much like the core of the Matrix of Leadership. Using Gyr Abanian flour, usuginu octopus, green leeks, gagana eggs, and cottonseed oil - I make this dish to boost morale on the Nemesis but also establish relationships with the organics of this planet. A secret recipe broth is used for its complex but delicious flavor.

- BEVERAGES -

Shockwave Shot
> 10,000 Gil <

To honor the dark and twisted mind of our Decepticon scientist, we have created this alcoholic beverage that can only be served as a shot. The drink itself is made with purple carrots and pixie apples to give it a hint of sweetness. As for the liqueur - the moment it touches your tongue, you will feel a zap of electricity course through your body. Courtesy of Shockwave himself.

Synthetic Energon
> 10,000 Gil <

If you are unaware, energon is both the lifesource and sustenance of all bots. Then the war between Decepticons and Autobots caused a shortage of energon. To counter this, synthetic energon was made. To better suit organics, we diluted it with ambrosial water, sweetened it with palm sugar and garden beet sugar, and used thundermelons to give it flavor.

Devastator Iced Tea
> 10,000 Gil <

Similar to a Long Island Iced Tea, the Constructicons have created a drink that both matches their combined form - Devastator - and a drink that will absolutely demolish you. The tea was made with rooibos leaves. As for the variety of liqueur, Mixmaster refuses to divulge this information. Hook, Constructicon medic, recommends only ordering one glass of this certain beverage. Order at your own risk.

- DESSERTS -

Engex Ooze
> 10,000 Gil <

Engex: An alcholic beverage made of synthetic energon. This intoxicating drink was used in this gelatinous dessert to give it a bit of a kick for organics like you. Turali aloe, royal maple syrup, branchbearer fruit, mesquite beans, and ovibos milk were used to give this dessert a sweet and refreshing flavor.

Astrotrain Croissant
> 10,000 Gil <

Recently, Astrotrain - our transportation triple changer - has become infatuated with the arts of baking. After trial and error - and many sleepless nights - they created a delicious pastry made from highland flour. An almond based cream sauce is drizzled on top to give this pastry a subtle but sweet contrast.

Rumble Rock Candy
> 10,000 Gil <

Besides energon, there are food items we used to eat on Cybertron. A candy made from chrome and quartz was one of the many "snacks" that Rumble and Frenzy used to eat. Recently, Rumble has decided to make a candy made from beet sugar and honeydew honey. Rumble has also shaped this sweet treat into stars - similar to how the aforementioned Cybertronian candy was made back home. With my support and Frenzy's support, Rumble asked the owner of the Nekro Noir Cafe to place this item on the menu. She happily obliged. Any slander of this dessert will not only cause you to suffer a slow, painful death but you will answer to me - Soundwave.